Wednesday, May 4, 2011

IPB5

Time is not linear, it is a dimension.

Phintan had just enrolled in his courses at the University of Minnesota for the fall semester of 2011. Since he was a freshman without any incoming credits, he had to register near the end of the registration period. He was not able to take a course that would count towards his major, so he decided that he would just mess around and take astronomy. Phintan had always seen time as linear. The clock had always ticked the same speed for his whole life. He had only thought about history in terms of human civilizations which he could easily comprehend on the linear scale which he had always known. He began to look into the history of the universe and realizing that he could not comprehend it. The entire history he had known was just a blink of the eye in the history of the universe. Phintan was also looking into the movements of interstellar objects. He realized that time was relative. It was directly related to distance and all of the other known forces in the Universe. He realized that time represented another dimension. He still had a hard time comprehending it so he decided to watch Lebron james miss a bunch of free throws.

IPB4

Saying too much

On a cold winter day Phintan Lethert woke up early. It was the last Wednesday of school before winter break. Phintan was extremely tired. He had been up late the night before studying for his exams. Phintan was completely burnt out on school right now. His focus had shifted from getting good grades in school to watching NBA basketball. He was excited to see the Miami Heat play on Christmas day. Phintan had decided that he studied enough for his classes and he decided to coast into the break. Phintan spent the next few days getting his Miami Heat gear. He bought a Chris Bosh jersey even though it has been well established that Chris Bosh has no basketball talent. Phintan could hardly wait for the game. Phintan woke up around noon on Christmas. He was watching basketball all day leading up to the big game. On this day the Miami Heat would play against the L.A. Lakers. This game was set to be, by far, the most over hyped match up of two thoroughly below average teams in sports history. The Miami heat crushed the talentless Lakers and Phintan was thrilled. He thought about that game for the rest of the break. He relived every play numerous times in his head. He had become a bandwagon Heat fan and completely given up on his local team, the Minnesota Timberwolves, realizing that they would never get any talented players and always finish last in the NBA. Phintan came back to school when break ended and starting talking about how the Heat were the best team in the NBA his friends all told him " Wow your team beat the lakers. They might be average but saying they are the best team in the NBA is just saying too much".

Thursday, April 28, 2011

IPB3

Ardent Authority dank
It was a dark dreary day in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It was really no different than any other day at South high since there are no windows in that dark dank building. Phintan Lethert showed up to class late due to the extended filming of his dunk contest for his independent project that was due three days later. Phintan knew that he should have started earlier and picked a better project. He knew he should have worked with Zack and Lalisa on their awesome dodgeball project. Phintan had a lot of work to do. He had to study for AP tests, do and do a rough draft of his dunk contest video when, all of the sudden, his teacher reminded him that he had superfluous blog entries to complete by the end of the class period. Phintan did not understand why his teacher Dr. Hodge so ardently supported blogging. Phintan went to the Mac lab to do his blog Because he knew that if he did not complete his blog on time that Dr. Hodge had the authority to fail him and make him repeat the 12th grade. When Phintan completed his blog he went to leave the Mac lab, but the door was locked. Phintan tried to call his friend Walker, but Walker's phone had just been confiscated following his crushing loss to Lalisa in Word Feud. Phintan's phone ran out of power and shut down and soon the lights in the Mac lab went out. One of the computers turned on. Phintan thought he could probably send his other teacher, Niel, an email to unlock the door. The computer was locked. Soon all of the computers turned on one by one. All of the sudden a video began to play on all of then simultaneously. It was Lebron James attempting to make a free throw.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

IPB2

Onion Story

LOCAL MAN UPSET WITH LEBRON JAMES' AFTER MISSED FREE THROW
Local man Fintan Lethert is upset with Miami Heat player Lebron James after missing two consecutive free throws in the last 10 seconds of the Heat's 74- 50 loss to the San Antonio Spurs. Fintan has been a heat fan since the arrival of Lebron James and Chris Bosh. Chris Bosh also missed his fair share of free throws, possibly due to his lack of basketball talent. Fintan said "I expected more of Lebron James. I knew Wade and Bosh couldn't make a free throw to save their lives" He later added "Lebron should have been able to make those free throws. After all it was like the 30th time he went to the charity stripe in that game. James would not comment on his performance. After the game Tim Duncan was seen practicing free throws even though his team was not fortunate enough to come from a large market and, as a result, did not get to shoot many free throws. Duncan also added "In basketball today every game comes down to free throws, you know, unless you are playing the Timberwolves. They are usually able to lose early enough in the game so free throws do not really matter." Tim Duncan lead all scorers with 16 points, going 6 for 6 at the free throw line. When asked about free throws Spurs guard Tony Parker said "Free throws are basically free points. Anyone who can't make a free throw consistently should not be playing in the NBA. Lethert later went out to his basketball hoop in his backyard. He attempted 30 free throws going 24 for 30, even though he had taken almost a year off from basketball. Lethert said" I mean, how can a guy who gets paid millions of dollars just to shoot a basketball miss that many free throws. He (Lebron James) should be more like Tim Duncan and practice once in a while. Maybe then he could win a title, like Tim Duncan." It is too late for the Heat this year. Maybe Lebron James will actually practice during his long offseason, but even so his next season will probably end in another spectacular showing of failure. Fintan has finally accepted that the Miami Heat are not going to win an NBA title anytime soon. He finally accepted his Irish roots and switched to rooting for the Celtics, a move that would not have been possible before they picked up Keven Garnet and Ray Allen, and got back to their winning ways.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

IPB1

This was some adventure huh?
It was a warm summer day. Fintan rolled out of bed at the usual time, one o'clock in the afternoon. Immediately he said to himself "today is going to be a great day". He thought this because he was going to have a basketball game today. It was the first game of the summer intramural basketball season at the University of Minnesota. Fintan arrived before any of his teammates, five minutes before the game. He watched some clips of Lebron James' famous crab dribble to prepare himself for the game until his teammates arrived exactly five minutes later. The referees showed up five minutes after that and the game started right about when everyone thought it would. Fintan had usually been able to score about twenty points per game with around fourteen rebounds. Today was different. Fintan had the best game of his life. He scored sixty points and had thirty rebounds. His team won and he was the MVP. The team decided to at blarney's in Dinkytown. Fintan had a pretty convincing fake I.D. so it was not a problem for him to be served. The team had a great time and drank late into the night. After a while Fintan's teammates started leaving and eventually Fintan was the last one there. He left Blarney's right when it closed at 2am. He was walking home by the river when a man jumped out of the bushes and attacked him. The man took his laptop and his wallet, but Fintan was able to keep him from taking his phone. He started to dial 911 when he realized that he was drunk and under 21 years old. Calling the police was not an option, but he had to get his laptop back because it contained the only copy of his dunk video where he came in second beating Lebron James, John Wall, and Jimmer Fredette. The only guy to out dunk Fintan was Tim Duncan. It was the greatest dunk video ever made and ESPN offered one million dollars for it. Luckily his good friend, Tim Duncan, was still in town. Fintan decided to call Tim Duncan for help. Tim arrived by the river shortly. Fintan was able to trace the location of his laptop with his cell phone. Tim drove over to the man's house with Fintan and roughed the man up until he was able to recover Fintan's stuff. Tim gave Fintan a ride home and signed some Spurs 2011 NBA championship gear for him. The next day Fintan sold his video to ESPN for one million dollars and courtside season tickets to Spurs games.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Blog 10

We are almost done with our documentary. We are just putting the finishing touches on our editing. I think our project will be good.

As painful as it was, I actually read the poem. I don't have any problems with it except that it is poetry and poetry is boring. It sends the same message as every book that I was assigned to read freshmen year; even though we may not always be what society thinks we should be, we can still try to be successful, or something like that. The woman who the poem is about has different customs from society, but doesn't care.

Blog 10

We are almost done with our documentary. We are just putting the finishing touches on our editing. I think our project will be good.

As painful as it was, I actually read the poem. I don't have any problems with it except that it is poetry and poetry is boring. It sends the same message as every book that I was assigned to read freshmen year; even though we may not always be what society thinks we should be, we can still try to be successful, or something like that. The woman who the poem is about has different customs from society, but doesn't care.